Age, Maturity and the Experience

[Sean]

I'm 24 years old and recently finished reading BOTH. While I'm somewhat experienced in the use of 'mind/consciousness altering substances,' I've never actually used them strictly for the purpose of mental or spiritual expansion. Instead, and I feel that I can be grouped with most people in the world, I sought (for lack of a better or more honest word) entertainment.

Recently, however, my lack of spiritual certainty has led to me ponder the possible usage of entheogens etc. towards the end of "Growth." This I felt, the creation of curiousity about the tools to an end, was one of the strongest messages in BOTH.

However, I'm troubled by my age and arguable immaturity. First, the necessity or not of an unadulturated quest for the Growth. Mr. Pinchbeck speaks, in the opening chapters of his book, to a nihilist depression that had seized his life. At this point, it would be very easy for a therapist to write off my concerns and doubts as those of any "young man." Fresh from undergrad, thankless job, new life... any of these could, I believe, easily produce symptoms that could be mistaken for a genuine spiritual wound in need of suture. Would my yen towards the world of the spirit be tainted by everyday, mundane curiousity? Or worse still, a yet untamed pubescent urge to "play with drugs?"

Moreover, the name of the book itself, "Breaking Open the Head" implies a shattering of a fully formed and solid structure, a complete Mind. As I have heard from elders during more than one unappreciated diatribe supposedly aimed towards my betterment, my mind will change and my values will undergo bends, shifts and flips. Is the mind of the 24 year old ready to be broken open?

I just figured I'd throw this thought and see if anyone had a response...
And I'd welcome any comments above and beyond the whimsical "you'll know when you're ready" variety.
Best,
s

[Halfglass]

I think the fact that we find ourselves on a giant ball (Earth) hurling through an open area (space) tethered to a machine (body) with the only certainty we can be convinced of--that we will have to depart (die)--and the world is filled with so many other things (people) who are full of self-importance and concerns about other people's perceptions of themselves, and the endless attention to their own and other's demeanors, conduct, ways and looks--and all the while going about as if they're immortal, is reason enough to validate one's own questioning WHY--why all this? How can people not look? Fear of any threat to that cottony place we like to be, where the sense of the unknowable is but a visceral thing, easily managed by keeping our attention on convention (ok so I'm a poet). Tripping for me is about getting a leg up on death. Strip away the hard-wiring of your being and you find reward systems (pleasure if you have sex or eat good food) or punishment (cramps in your bladder if you don't take a piss)--this seems like a set-up. Nobody wants to admit that not a soul here knows why we're here! Preachers? Forget it. Psychedelics show you that "you" ARE layer upon layer of conditioning, and clearing these layers away always reveals more layers. Psychedelics reveal the very fabric of what we are. The odd thing is; you get just what you set out to find, but somehow not; that is, your idealized/romanticized notions are swept aside unceremoniously. And questions one might have going in, become less important or the questions themselves don't/can't exist, as one moves farther from the syntax used to enforce what we believe we are or what we seek. This stuff (messing with your mind/self) is REAL. And most people won't even tell you what they're really thinking at a given moment--nevermind stripping themselves of all that conditioning and finding out that this is all they ever were. I've had great success with out-of-body experiences (not lucid dreaming but full-blown floating over my sleeping body) without any drugs. This might appeal to you. There are alot of crappy books on astral projection. (I say this because I've logged over 50 OBEs and alot of what people are writting about out-of-bodies I've found baseless and it makes me wonder if the authors ever had one--but then again who the hell knows!) Robert Monroe's 1st one "Journeys out of The Body" I still like the best. Good luck on all your journeys....

[ February 20, 2003, 04:57 PM: Message edited by: Halfglass ]

[Woodpecker]

A few responses off the top of my head.

1. Halfglass is quite right.

2. I want to sound a note of caution around the theme of safety. In recent years people might be tripping more carefully and safely than they were a few years back, but, at the risk of sounding like your dad, it's got to be emphasized that there's an element of danger to it, especially but not only in uncontrolled settings. The nephew of an acquaintance of mine was tripping at a Grateful Dead show in an unfamiliar city. Disoriented, he got separated from his friends and ended up wandering out on the street after midnight, trying to get into strangers' cars. Needless to say, nobody let him in, and he finally jumped off an overpass to his death. Another time, in Ecuador, two guys were tripping on LSD at a party and got ahold of a loaded pistol. Not having any idea what they were doing, one shot and killed the other. You must have heard stories like this too; they turn some people off to hallucinogens. So trip intelligently or not at all. Well, you've obviously survived this far.

3. Andrew Weil said in an interview once that he was glad he only encountered hallucinogens after his professional training was over, because otherwise he would have followed his interest in them and never become a doctor. Think about what kind of career you want to have, and don't let your interest in the ultimate nature of self and reality sidetrack you from the truly-important, infinitely tiny mundane world, which you'll have to live in when the last dose wears off.

4. "Is the mind of the 24 year old ready to be broken open?" This is not a whimsical response: Only you can answer that question.

[sidecross]

If one is not able to cope with the possibility of a revelation, and by this I mean a paradigm shattering experience, psychedelics should not be considered. To paraphrase Terence McKenna, psychedelics have the possibility of death caused by astonishment. As a previous post stated death by stupidly is a more real possibility

Breaking Open the Head, like Humpty Dumpty, can never exactly be put back together again. Instead, it should be viewed as a birthing experience into a paradigm that is both new and archaic.

[daniel]

hmmm... what about the concept of just starting with low doses (*of something legal of course*) and seeing if you like the direction the experience is taking you.

You don't have to leap into a shattering megadose the first time out.

A little bit of anticipation and ritual (even fasting for a day beforehand) goes a long way, and can be of value in itself.

Also, I have been hearing amazing reports lately of shamanic workshops - no substances involved - using drumming and breathwork to reach altered states.

[julonred]

i agree with daniel. i have found drumming, chanting and dancing a wonderful way to "naturally" reach a state of altered awareness. ritual has been a nice way for me to utilize elemental tools to focus experience out of body. i have been able to communicate with ancestors through guided meditations. through rituals with others with similar intents i have had experiences with Others (fairies on May Eve, laugh if you will, but i was stone cold sober), altered the weather, and communicated with "wild" animals. unfortunately, i had to move away from this community of shaman/pagans and have become disillusioned with the pagan community as a whole. i also agree that its not necessary to leap into a mind blowing experience the first time out. ive used many substances (lsd, mushrooms, morning glory, etc) but that was many years ago, and because of many recent signs in my life i feel the need to reexperience, though much more cautiously than before. at the moment i'm reviewing my motives and strengthening my spirit, investigating and meditating. maybe that would be of help.
you may not find the answers youre looking for, but you will find some answers nonetheless.

[El Eternauta]

I did not start using psychedelics until I was 31, and I am glad that it happened then.
In my case I don't think I was ready for it before, I needed to grow internally a bit, to be able to appreciate this type of experiences.
But that was my case, now that I look back at my twenties; I was an imbecile thinking that I knew it all.
So psychedelics came to me at the rite time, and since then nothing has been the same for me, like Halfglass well said it, I don't think no one know for real what it is all about, and perhaps the only thing we can do is just witness with amazement creation.
My advice for you is to fallow your inner voice, if you feel you are ready go for it, if not wait.
I wish you the best, in your self-discovery.

[vicj]

Sean,
Dear sir, if you have any trepedations and qualms, then don't. If you must,the greatest advise I ever recieved is "SET and SETTING"
You want to do it with people you know and trust in a setting where you feel safe.Perhaps camping, in a place you're familiar with.Music,but if you want head banging hevy metal, expect a banged up head trip. Got it?.Avoid alchohol.Incense helps, why? I dunno.God luck.
Victor.

[vicj]

Sean,
If I may add to what I said a most beautiful book you and anyone interested in the phychedelic experience may wish to read is "Island" by Aldous Huxley.Where he wrote "Brave new world" as his possible horrific future, Island was his attempt at depicting the best of all futures, in his mind.(And mine, frankly).
Best of luck in any event.
Victor.

[PuristLove]

Not to blow my own horn (ok maybe a little ;) ) but you may find The Good Trip Guide (http://www.bluelight.nu/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic&f=32&t=000063&r=0) helpful.

[julonred]

your good trip guide was hilarious and excellent advice