Snoe
12-05-2004, 02:39 PM
Well, I finally finished BOTH. The first day I got it, I must've read 100 or so pages of it. Then, I started to read perhaps 10 pages a day. Slowly, sluggishly working my way through it. However, last night/this morning I decided I would finish it, and read the last 110 pages.
I enjoyed it. I know that it has and will have a profound effect on my life. Not so much the book itself, but the concepts and ideas represented by it. The things that have been taught to me, or rather, exposed to me through my contact with the folk on this message board, and related material that stemmed from my interaction with them. Whether or not this is for better or for worse I'm not really sure.
I share a lot of feelings with you on a lot of topics. Although my experiences I imagine have not been as thorough as yours, of course, nor as exploratory. I still find that some of the things you talk about, and the mere gesture of your experiences has been relative to mine. I mean, this is most likely a human thing, but in particular my quest and extension out into occult or spiritual concepts, and still having lots of confusion with it's confliction with my materialistic roots.
During the peak of my experiences I felt as though the materialism thought was simple stupidity, caused by fear, and not wanting to delve into the unknown. Rather, a security, a faith. That this, spiritual, occult like phase I was in was the truth, the ever expanding unknown. A supernova into epistemological crisis.
When I was really submerged into the entire materialist thing, I also never had to worry unless science told me to. Now, that I'm perhaps, a bit more associated with other concepts and ideas, life just wont be and isn't the same. I know for sure, no matter what anyway says, I'm going to be shitting myself 12/21/12. Point being I've developed an acute sense of paranoia, compassion, love, and fear.
Most of which was not available to me under the materialist idea. I mean, I mostly felt stern, powerful, and willing. Now of course, it's anxious, weak, and hesitant.
Now I'm not saying that all of these experiences and ideas have made me into a frail wreck, but they've definitely exposed parts of me I didn't know I had, and it seems rather evident that these spots are in some ways my weak spots.
Ultimately, I think there maybe one, very spiritual, very sacred thing in materialism. It's the idea that nothing really matters. That there is no morality, no consequence, no purpose, just nature. Just the 'tao' of things. The things "as is." Nothing can disturb that.
I suppose that's the most unappealing thing about notions of cosmos, greater meaning, purposeful existence. At least for me (I'm getting a humorous kick out of writing this, considering I posted almost the exact opposite on my first visit here.) The idea that there are certain things that need to be revealed, that there are certain things of good and evil, ignorant and truthful- only seems to create unnecessary drama.
This whole thing- synchronicity, dreamworlds, drugs, history, mystery. Although it's shrouded with mysticism and awe, I think that the natural human compulsion towards a spirituality of some sort, is very similar to another compulsion. C.S. Lewis had an argument for the soul, saying that for every natural want there was an attainable thing. I.E. For hunger there was food, for thirst there was water, for chance there was opportunity, and thus for the want for the eternal, there was eternity. I think that this has some sense to it. I do believe in something, somehow, spiritual, occult, mystical. I think it's in fact, logical to believe so. Yet at the same time, as I was saying, materialism holds something very spiritual. The want to not be anymore. The want, or rather the need to return to something small, needless, purposeless. Like retreating to the womb of the universe, as Carl Jung described one of his hospital visions, I think that there must be some kind of way to avoid participation in the cosmic drama- some kind of very serious, self accepted, death.
Because of this I have a hard time imagining that everything, has some sort of spiritual meaning, some sort of consciousness or essence about itself. Anyway, I don't even know where I'm going with this. I swear sometimes I think I continue to write so that I don't have to do the activities that follow the writing.
ANYWAY, ULTIMATELY, IN REVIEW. I give you 5 stars buddy. You deserved it. You have a very nice method of writing. I think you're completely honest, I don't think you lied or tried to sell anything to the reader. I adored that, one of the few, if not only writers, that I got that feeling about. I think part of the reason I enjoyed this book so much, is because I think you're a good person. It emanates, or something of the sort, from the things you say.
Also, how old is your kid(s)? Just out of curiousity.
Best wishes,
Theo
I enjoyed it. I know that it has and will have a profound effect on my life. Not so much the book itself, but the concepts and ideas represented by it. The things that have been taught to me, or rather, exposed to me through my contact with the folk on this message board, and related material that stemmed from my interaction with them. Whether or not this is for better or for worse I'm not really sure.
I share a lot of feelings with you on a lot of topics. Although my experiences I imagine have not been as thorough as yours, of course, nor as exploratory. I still find that some of the things you talk about, and the mere gesture of your experiences has been relative to mine. I mean, this is most likely a human thing, but in particular my quest and extension out into occult or spiritual concepts, and still having lots of confusion with it's confliction with my materialistic roots.
During the peak of my experiences I felt as though the materialism thought was simple stupidity, caused by fear, and not wanting to delve into the unknown. Rather, a security, a faith. That this, spiritual, occult like phase I was in was the truth, the ever expanding unknown. A supernova into epistemological crisis.
When I was really submerged into the entire materialist thing, I also never had to worry unless science told me to. Now, that I'm perhaps, a bit more associated with other concepts and ideas, life just wont be and isn't the same. I know for sure, no matter what anyway says, I'm going to be shitting myself 12/21/12. Point being I've developed an acute sense of paranoia, compassion, love, and fear.
Most of which was not available to me under the materialist idea. I mean, I mostly felt stern, powerful, and willing. Now of course, it's anxious, weak, and hesitant.
Now I'm not saying that all of these experiences and ideas have made me into a frail wreck, but they've definitely exposed parts of me I didn't know I had, and it seems rather evident that these spots are in some ways my weak spots.
Ultimately, I think there maybe one, very spiritual, very sacred thing in materialism. It's the idea that nothing really matters. That there is no morality, no consequence, no purpose, just nature. Just the 'tao' of things. The things "as is." Nothing can disturb that.
I suppose that's the most unappealing thing about notions of cosmos, greater meaning, purposeful existence. At least for me (I'm getting a humorous kick out of writing this, considering I posted almost the exact opposite on my first visit here.) The idea that there are certain things that need to be revealed, that there are certain things of good and evil, ignorant and truthful- only seems to create unnecessary drama.
This whole thing- synchronicity, dreamworlds, drugs, history, mystery. Although it's shrouded with mysticism and awe, I think that the natural human compulsion towards a spirituality of some sort, is very similar to another compulsion. C.S. Lewis had an argument for the soul, saying that for every natural want there was an attainable thing. I.E. For hunger there was food, for thirst there was water, for chance there was opportunity, and thus for the want for the eternal, there was eternity. I think that this has some sense to it. I do believe in something, somehow, spiritual, occult, mystical. I think it's in fact, logical to believe so. Yet at the same time, as I was saying, materialism holds something very spiritual. The want to not be anymore. The want, or rather the need to return to something small, needless, purposeless. Like retreating to the womb of the universe, as Carl Jung described one of his hospital visions, I think that there must be some kind of way to avoid participation in the cosmic drama- some kind of very serious, self accepted, death.
Because of this I have a hard time imagining that everything, has some sort of spiritual meaning, some sort of consciousness or essence about itself. Anyway, I don't even know where I'm going with this. I swear sometimes I think I continue to write so that I don't have to do the activities that follow the writing.
ANYWAY, ULTIMATELY, IN REVIEW. I give you 5 stars buddy. You deserved it. You have a very nice method of writing. I think you're completely honest, I don't think you lied or tried to sell anything to the reader. I adored that, one of the few, if not only writers, that I got that feeling about. I think part of the reason I enjoyed this book so much, is because I think you're a good person. It emanates, or something of the sort, from the things you say.
Also, how old is your kid(s)? Just out of curiousity.
Best wishes,
Theo