shaman sun
04-11-2005, 05:12 PM
The morning greeted me like a friendly companion who, for some time, had been up and about, while I tossed and turned in a dreamy half-state of consciousness. I was waiting at this empty high-school for a Driver's Ed car to steal me away, drive around in a repetative state for some time, then drop me back right where I started from. It was the usual, the norm, the every-Saturday-morning routine. This joy ride, though, was an hour and a half away. With nothing to do, I took my books and wandered onto the hillside lawn that the school stretched itself over.
The wind had a bite of cold in it, but the day was so magnificently beautiful that I could not remain within the old, grainy prison of societal preparation. Indeed it was such a lowly thing, compared to the natural grandeur of the cloudless blue sky, the sun of infinite warmth and light, and the small birds that carried themselves and their songs with the wind. The trees seemed to wordlessly whisper this wisdom through their physical presence, reaching up and out towards the light, intertwining with Earth in some unspoken mystery of truth. How could people overlook such a sight, such an experience? I asked that to myself as a few people walked down the sidewalk below, drove down the street and turned around the endless corners, blocks and pavements laid down - perhaps equally as infinite as the blue skies that expanded beyond the comprehension of my natural senses. I had a hunch that our tiny game of pretend was flimsier than a deck of cards. What I saw before me was something far greater than our own tiny physical manifestations, the infantile creation that we had built rapidly throughout the blink of mother nature's eye.
I crossed over perhaps unnaturally green grass and stepped up into a gazebo that was shrouded in a circle of trimmed shrubbery. Sitting down in the sunlight, I flipped through the chapters of a book I had been reading: Breaking Open the Head. Ah, yes, right to the part about his encounter with the leprechauns. After reading that chapter and subsequent ones (The book has one of those 'hooked' affects on me), something in the air compelled me to look up. In that moment, my senses seemed to focus. An awareness had come over me like none had before. Suddenly, everything felt alive. Before I had caught the glimpse of this beauty, but now I was experiencing it on a whole other level. I felt in touch with everything. The first new level of communication began with a plant, a bush that right in front of me. My eyes looked at it. It did not move, save the rustling of the wind, and it did not 'reveal' anything either, save the beauty of the sun's glaze over its shiny leaves. Despite the lack of physical manifestation, it did speak to me.
At first I wondered if I had just went crazy? The book had gotten to my head? No, this was not insanity. I felt an overwhelming certainty that what I was experiencing was a sort of awakening - and the energy around me manifested as entities and forces, seemed to welcome me. The first to 'speak' to me was this bush. What it expressed to me I cannot possibly say in words. It made me feel as if I could weep happily. I felt the exchange of energy, of soundless, wordless, unspoken communication between us. Going beyond that, it felt as if I were a part of this being, and this being was a part of a whole. We were performing some sacred act of life, of an equilibrium, of oneness yet separation - yet I knew this differentiation was a short lived dream.
The energy seemed to ask me to look up, and so I did. A single bird flew from the budding tree branches, glided through the air above me, over the gazebo and disappeared into the distance. Beautiful. Again, the force guided my site to the grass, rooted and dancing as the wind wove through it like some dynamic quilt of life. I hopped over the railing and followed this sightless path.
"Seaford High School" the large sign said. I took a look over it, feeling as if I needed to see something. Nothing but a patch of dirt and planted seasonal flowers were to be seen. I began to go around to the back of the sign, and, as if compelled by a childhood curiousity to explore, stepped up on the white concrete foundation that the sign was held up by. I was now hidden from the roads and cars and people and town, in a secret place, shrouded by a few tall pine trees. I was led towards one end, and looked out towards the sun. I understood then what I was supposed to see.
Before me was a moment once again almost inconceivably beautiful. The sun glimmered across the pine needles, the branches shook gently, shimmering the magical light across this myriad of blue, green, and brightness. My spirit was lifted to new heights, my mind breaking down its walls in instantaneous speed. I felt the life of the plant, the consciousness and energy of it. I felt the life of everything.
With a smile, I returned to the gazebo, and after some time I returned to my book. Since this day I have had a feeling that it was a lesson given to me, to allow me to wake up, to grow, to understand. I also feel as if it was a calling. To what? I cannot say. But I felt I should share this experience with you. Perhaps there is something to be learned from its memory as well.
[ April 11, 2005, 05:23 PM: Message edited by: ThePathlessPath ]
The wind had a bite of cold in it, but the day was so magnificently beautiful that I could not remain within the old, grainy prison of societal preparation. Indeed it was such a lowly thing, compared to the natural grandeur of the cloudless blue sky, the sun of infinite warmth and light, and the small birds that carried themselves and their songs with the wind. The trees seemed to wordlessly whisper this wisdom through their physical presence, reaching up and out towards the light, intertwining with Earth in some unspoken mystery of truth. How could people overlook such a sight, such an experience? I asked that to myself as a few people walked down the sidewalk below, drove down the street and turned around the endless corners, blocks and pavements laid down - perhaps equally as infinite as the blue skies that expanded beyond the comprehension of my natural senses. I had a hunch that our tiny game of pretend was flimsier than a deck of cards. What I saw before me was something far greater than our own tiny physical manifestations, the infantile creation that we had built rapidly throughout the blink of mother nature's eye.
I crossed over perhaps unnaturally green grass and stepped up into a gazebo that was shrouded in a circle of trimmed shrubbery. Sitting down in the sunlight, I flipped through the chapters of a book I had been reading: Breaking Open the Head. Ah, yes, right to the part about his encounter with the leprechauns. After reading that chapter and subsequent ones (The book has one of those 'hooked' affects on me), something in the air compelled me to look up. In that moment, my senses seemed to focus. An awareness had come over me like none had before. Suddenly, everything felt alive. Before I had caught the glimpse of this beauty, but now I was experiencing it on a whole other level. I felt in touch with everything. The first new level of communication began with a plant, a bush that right in front of me. My eyes looked at it. It did not move, save the rustling of the wind, and it did not 'reveal' anything either, save the beauty of the sun's glaze over its shiny leaves. Despite the lack of physical manifestation, it did speak to me.
At first I wondered if I had just went crazy? The book had gotten to my head? No, this was not insanity. I felt an overwhelming certainty that what I was experiencing was a sort of awakening - and the energy around me manifested as entities and forces, seemed to welcome me. The first to 'speak' to me was this bush. What it expressed to me I cannot possibly say in words. It made me feel as if I could weep happily. I felt the exchange of energy, of soundless, wordless, unspoken communication between us. Going beyond that, it felt as if I were a part of this being, and this being was a part of a whole. We were performing some sacred act of life, of an equilibrium, of oneness yet separation - yet I knew this differentiation was a short lived dream.
The energy seemed to ask me to look up, and so I did. A single bird flew from the budding tree branches, glided through the air above me, over the gazebo and disappeared into the distance. Beautiful. Again, the force guided my site to the grass, rooted and dancing as the wind wove through it like some dynamic quilt of life. I hopped over the railing and followed this sightless path.
"Seaford High School" the large sign said. I took a look over it, feeling as if I needed to see something. Nothing but a patch of dirt and planted seasonal flowers were to be seen. I began to go around to the back of the sign, and, as if compelled by a childhood curiousity to explore, stepped up on the white concrete foundation that the sign was held up by. I was now hidden from the roads and cars and people and town, in a secret place, shrouded by a few tall pine trees. I was led towards one end, and looked out towards the sun. I understood then what I was supposed to see.
Before me was a moment once again almost inconceivably beautiful. The sun glimmered across the pine needles, the branches shook gently, shimmering the magical light across this myriad of blue, green, and brightness. My spirit was lifted to new heights, my mind breaking down its walls in instantaneous speed. I felt the life of the plant, the consciousness and energy of it. I felt the life of everything.
With a smile, I returned to the gazebo, and after some time I returned to my book. Since this day I have had a feeling that it was a lesson given to me, to allow me to wake up, to grow, to understand. I also feel as if it was a calling. To what? I cannot say. But I felt I should share this experience with you. Perhaps there is something to be learned from its memory as well.
[ April 11, 2005, 05:23 PM: Message edited by: ThePathlessPath ]