mdma

[bloodshaman]

what potential does mdma have in a shamanic journeying, visionary, or personal healing context, if any? i have recently, after much thought, decided that mdma is a safe chemical to ingest and one i am willing to try. however, i have not yet formulated any goals for the experience as i dont know what to expect, and the "set" of partying and dancing colors most experiential reports.

[Caprinardo Delirio]

they say it's a very good drug for interpersonal therapy... you know: couples talking like oh honey you're so hot let's stay together type of things..

sounds like alcohol to me.. ha! ..alcohol-therapy!

[Giselle62]

I was thinking of how I'd want to do it with my daughter who has just turned 18; she has reservations cuz she worries it will immediately deplete her serotonin, which I think is hysteria, by the way.
The times I tried it, after being brought up in an environment (which I think many of us are) where you learn to hold stuff in and not trust--it really gave me a reprieve from not-trusting. Was a good experience for a young punk rocker in early 80s to feel what it is to trust another person. My intuition tells me that this would be good for her. I wish I knew how I could get some good stuff. the stuff I had was given to me from a guy who had just been to Esalen, months before it became it illegal. Too bad no longer being used in therapy.

[Caprinardo Delirio]

it's still used here..

actually, i think the myth about how you 'blow your happiness fuse' or 'empty your whole barrel of laughs' is a total myth and holds within it some of the most naive and downright false of the materialist paradigme's ship wake notions of how and what we are.

if you're stuck on depressed mode, shouldn't you just get down with ellis dee and stan g, and have them get you to open your gates again?

[Giselle62]

well, we were able to talk in an environment of trust last night--i had to push a little to make it happen. progress is being made.

[Eagle Wing]

If you can find it, check out the book PIHKAL by Alexander and Ann Shulgin. There you will find excellent first-hand accounts of MDMA's healing potential. Erowid's website is always a helpful resource, as well.
You are wise to educate yourself before trying a new substance. All the best!

[Eagle Wing]

yeah, i guess you're right about most of the reports.....
the party use of this drug is of course why it was banned, against the advice of the therapists who were using it to help couples with intimacy and communication issues. It is particularly prescribed for couples who consciously desire to heal a wound that has come between them.

I recommend doing it with a lover or close friends in a field of grass or a cozy living room. My only experiences with this chemical have been interpersonal connections like that.... and they were great. Leave a day afterwards to recover. I agree with Giselle that the "burnout" is blown out of proportion, but in my experience, the day-after droops do happen with this substance. Just get extra rest and eat a good meal.

[nanouk]

I'd say it works better on so-called introverts, rather than so-called extroverts...whenever i go Dancing people say: "Whatever you're on, i'll have two!!!" .....But the problem is...i haven't paid a penny!

i thrive on positive vibes, and the negative i will JUST HAVE TO TAKE WITH A Pinch O' SALT! Keep on dancing, and if life is hard, tell your friends, otherwise, how the He-mlin are they supposed to know? I Love the Raw Cocoa Bean therapy,sounds like a goood substititute for "Pink Champagne", i might inscribe a Logo, and call it "The Elixir of Life"! Like M for Maya...

Love and Respect,
~n~

[nyk]

I agree with E-Wing.

And here's my recipe, such as it is...

For a conventional work week, plan for a friday evening session [two days
off afterwards]. Do this at home or at rental cottage somewhere...some-
where private enough that you can look outside and not see other houses
and people. Do this with a close partner or with close friends or both. I
hope you can get pharmacuetical grade material. Prepare a meal - smaller
portions than usual. When all of you sit down for dinner, each of you take
a capsule in hand. Voice out loud your Intent, in unison, or separate
ones. Touch capsule to capsule with each other and then wash down.
Then eat light supper. You might want some yogurt on hand for slight
nausea effects (depends on the quality of the material and of you at the
time). Also have green on hand. Have candles on hand for when your
light sensitivity kicks in later. I also have liked to indulge some wine
in these E-Sessions; variously red, rice, or mead. At a certain point
after dinner when the blush is in gear and some quesiness too you can
have a couple puffs of green. This will soothe and also push the E along.
You may or may not want to mess with CDs during the session. That
depends on a lot of things. I got to the point where the only thing I
could bear to listen to was a thunderstorm/ocean CD. Sometime later
in the night we liked to split another capsule, portioning out the
granules into two spoons. It is one of the worst tasting things there
is, and somehow that is fun, ritualistic.

Well, I think that's enough of the basics.

It is well worth doing this just to become tacitly aware of how dull
civilization has made your real sensory faculties. Beyond that are also
many other potentials...breaking open the head sort of thing. It did for
us anyway. That requires extraordinary application of focused Intent.
And then extraordinary things will happen, within and without.

I better leave it at that.

[nanouk]

How can one take a capsule so seriously?

I can take a thousand-year-old Oak seriously, and not to talk about an Ash that stood th Andrew hurricane, but to have a pill at a dinner party?

Naah! bring on the good food and wine for Friends, and save the Rest for the Lest...

~n~

[nyk]

Most of us need a bit more leverage dear Nanouk. You ought to know that
by now.

And if you don't put your oakey intent into the capsule then it will be just
another transient experience. Anything a god touches should receive the
same ecstatic intent whether it is a tree or a hangnail.

[nanouk]

yeah, maybe you are right nyk, i read this book on ecstacy, and there were some accounts on the use by several different people of all ages, there were also some statistics and elaborate explanations from a couple of psychotherapists, on how and why the drug worked in their treatments....

about fifty-fifty chance of recovery from whatever psychological illness the patients were living with, a few percent got so ill, they never came back to "reality".....

Love and Respect,
~n~

[nyk]

Funny the emphasis on 'illness' and 'treatment'. Our civilization worships
dis-ease.

Anyway, E can take you right 'back' to being seven again. When your
blood was electric and everything was sensual. It was not yet compart-
mentalized, nor abstracted into oblivion. It is very much an ah-ha of-course
kind of thing. We still have that capacity within us, though it has been
thoroughly subverted in our life since childhood. The problem with E
is that it tends to be a perpetual therapy, one that never really quite
takes hold. And like all man-made substances it is damaging in the long
run.

Never-the-less, I am very glad that I utilized it. And that I took it as far
as I did. When you apply your Intent from within that state things begin
to happen around you. Real stuff. For me, 2006 was the year that I
finally began to incorporate that, without further leverage.

[nanouk]

i am happy it works for you. in my own case mdma has a detrimental effect on my psyche, and as soon as it "kicks in" i feel an urge to put my hat on to "protect my aura", and curl up into a little ball in a corner. i do not like to be aware of other's looking at me, dunno why...

i have some friends who overdid the whole thing, and are now on so many mind-killers prescribed by their gp, that they foam from the mouth, have developed ticks or obd's, or just don't go outdoors... :errf:

Love and Respect,
~n~

[nyk]

What a mess. And what a strange bunch of friends you have created.

Everyone that I know went to ayahuasca after E. They are even flying
shamans up from the jungle for their rituals.

[nanouk]

What a mess. And what a strange bunch of friends you have created.

Everyone that I know went to ayahuasca after E. They are even flying
shamans up from the jungle for their rituals.

I would rather say: What a strange bunch of friends society has created. If i had the monetary resourses, and my friends had the courage, i would fly them to the Amazon for some real healing...
~N~

[nyk]

It is our own compliance to the system which is really the issue here.

The system says conform. We say okay. We are then hard-wired into
the herd.

Extrication is always painful; moreso if we so willingly surrendered.

Black sheep have a better chance. It is really only rogues who are going
to get out of this mess with some kind of integrity.

[nanouk]

It is our own compliance to the system which is really the issue here.

The system says conform. We say okay. We are then hard-wired into
the herd.

Extrication is always painful; moreso if we so willingly surrendered.

Black sheep have a better chance. It is really only rogues who are going
to get out of this mess with some kind of integrity.

So embrace the shadow, i for one feel embarrassed when i have so called conventional feelings, because i am not used to them...i am used to be-ing alone, and independent, but when someone spoils me, i freak! well not freak, but i do not know how to repay the gesture...i am used to be-ing the black sheep, but i do not even know how they are supposed to be-have...rather than sheep, i would like to apply the term "Coyote".

Love and Respect,
~n~

[nyk]

Black coyotes are spontaneous, since they don't follow any pattern or any
herd. They face the Unknown. The unknown is really the unformed, unform-
ulated. A maverick clears his forward vision, pushing all of the knowns to
the sides, the periphery. This effectually means that you are aligned with
the pure limbic system, which is aimed forward. The past and all of the
knowns are in the back....literally in the hind-brain. Though people appear
to be facing forward, internally they are actually looking backward. This
is fundamentally because they are always - unconsciously - in receiver
mode, rather than consciously projecting.

And you. You are thirty-seven. This is your turning point. You are ready.

[kyrie]

so this summer first time with it.

uh, i dont get it ... i didnt feel any different ... and the next day i was really depressed!!! wtf? that sux. so fuck that shit. i dont know if i will ever do that ever again!!!

good ole lysergic, now that's something therapeutically beneficial fer this cowgirl...and ... bring on the DMT...

MDMA ... yawn.

[nyk]

poor quality perhaps? not surprising with all the hyper-militancy
these days getting in the way.

if it is decent quality, you most definitely will feel very different....
filled out and alive. which is why i stopped doing it.

[kyrie]

i think i already felt "filled out and alive" which is why it really didnt do anything for me.

i tried MDA and it was the same (no shift in consciousness)

in both instances, it was of good quality (ie, it came from a reputable source and was clean)

whatever. i am in no way saddened. i feel i havent "missed out" on anything. i generally am capable of feeling "filled out and alive" on my own. ah, brainpower!

when i get to a place where i feel up against a brick wall, (like now, kinda,) i find that fungi, LsD, DmT are good keys, and i am open to ayahausca for the most profound opening experience. that one will connect me with the Plant Queendom fully direct and She will bless me, caress me, and hold me. I need that now.

I know it will all happen in good time. good luck with your own explorations.

[nyk]

thanks kyrie. it sounds like you have filled out to 'another level', so to
speak....that is great. yes...

[stfrequency]

I've just returned from the Winter Music Conference in Miami, a dance music industry gathering that brings thousands of true enthusiasts together for a week of amazing parties and events. In years past I've had profound experiences during the Conference parties, but this time around was intensely spiritual with several highly charged psychic events and transformative moments. Despite having danced on MDMA countless times over the last decade, I broke through into new awareness of the spiritual connection that dancing engenders for me personally. The specific pills that I ended up with had a lot to do with this, as well as the group that I attended with (we have been undergoing momentous psychic events over the past year).

I will just say this -- through small quantities of what I consider some of the gentlest and most spiritual MDMA I've had, taken during some of the most amazing "parties" I've attended, I was able to completely let go on the dancefloor and connect in the most profound way I've yet managed. At one point I felt myself leaving my body and became alarmed, worrying that the feeling was symptomatic of an overdose or overheating -- but as soon as I snapped out of my eyes-closed focused dancing, the vibrations and lightness dissipated. I understood intuitively that dancing in the manner that I do, with a happiness of spirit and purest intent, is my most sacred ritual practice and an act of worship that does not go unnoticed by the universe. I found that, over the course of the next few days, without any major sleep to clear me out and periodically ingesting another small amount, I could bring myself to a clear and powerful meditative state within seconds. I could also conjure vibrations in my chest and head quite easily. The strange and powerful chain of events that transpired among my group of friends during this trip was so psychically dense that it even became apparent even to others who (soberly) witnessed some of these things taking place. FYI, the pills are a dark orange with a Lexus stamp.

;)
st

[bannana]

Just finished reading all this. I have nothing but positive things to say about my 8 years of mdma use. I will elaborate later but for now I will just say that it helped pull me out of the end of a terrible depression that had been brought on by devastating events in my life. I believe it helped me move through PTSD much quicker than I normally could have. It also brought me to a place of openness and receptiveness that I didn't know was possible for me.
Now, all of this was possible because I was in mostly comfortable and relatively safe environments while intoxicated. I also believe music is imperative to exploring some of these gateways and paths, at least initially while getting used to how you react and maintain the experience. Music allows your mind to be involved but also to sort and create on other levels without it being too threatening or overwhelming. This way not too much is being placed on some big hurdle to overcome. You are doing it merely for the fun. Now, that's not to be taken too lightly, fun is extremely important. Using mdma I was able to act in such a child like manner that I found fun and delight in many things I would have never considered in my sober/adult mind. Yet I found that I still retained the fascination with these things in a sober state. The fun and silliness where very important parts of my healing and growing and coming to a place where I now use mdma as something to facilitate spiritual growth. Not to say I don't still have fun with it, I do.
It's safe, I know the rules (and there are a few that do make things much smoother) and I still have amazing discoveries .

[Bowdenta]

not to be arrogant, but i really am an expert on mdma. I'm a major poster on bluelight.ru which is the biggest internet forum for drug usage and it has a focus on mdma harm reduction. I am also a student of pharmacy so I know A LOT about the physical and mental effects of mdma. __________________________________________________ __________________I see it as a major transition in human consciousness. anyone who has ever been to a rave and taken ecstasy has at least at one point felt the incredibly strong sense of general and shared consciousness. never before have I felt 5000 people acting as one at the time. its an incredibly power drug to unlock emotions and feelings not just in yourself but everyone around you and even those people in your life you never see anymore or have passed on. I would say my spiritual journey began in 2001 with the ingestion of my first mdma pill. its kinda like a kickstart to start feeling and stop thinking rationally so much