PeaceFrog
12-15-2006, 09:52 PM
Alright, this is my first post and it's been about a year in the making now. One of my friends just told me tonight about Daniel Pinchbeck's writing and philosophy and it seems to be just the reaffirmation I needed to convince myself that all the emotions and thoughts I have been having for the past year and a half weren't just half-baked wishful thinking. I lived 16 years of my life propagandized and more or less brainwashed into believing everything the "soldiers" of the Drug War tell us and unfortunately it took my parents uprooting my lifestyle and moving me to a small town in the rural midwest for me to finally open my eyes and experience what the "adults" seem to hate and condemn so much. After the move I suffered quite a case of depression, I had no clue what I was going to do with myself now that everything I had known seemed to be gone. So, in desperation I turned to vices like alcohol and marijuana. The alcohol made me sick and the pot made me lazy just like they told me it would, but I didn't care one bit because for the hour that I held the liquor down I felt GOOD or at least what I thought was good. This lead to my first realization and a step toward my Transformation. I realized that I was being immature, that if a drug could make me feel good that I could also make myself feel good without ingesting any substance at all. I became content to be merely myself no matter where I was or who I was with, which I think is a challenge for any teenager. I then began to think about everything that was being fed to me by the media and the school system, isn't alcohol supposed to make depressed people more depressed? And what about the weed I've been smoking? Shouldn't I be flunking out of school and joining a gang or something? I'd passed all my classes with no lower than Cs and maintained a 3.0 GPA so what's the big idea anyway? I stopped drinking because I wanted to think and I found it hard to think anything deeper than "I'm going to puke" while under the influence. I wanted to expand my mind and dig deep inside myself to my core and find out who I am and where I'm headed.
One day a friend of mine told me that he felt much different than the day before, like a new person. I asked him what he took. He said cough medicine and I said no freaking way. I was curious of course so I looked it up on erowid. I found the active ingredient was DXM (Dextromethorphan) and learned about it's effect on the human conciousness. I found out that it was a type of Dissociative Anesthetic (or Analgesic.. I'm not sure what the difference is.. I'm not a doctor) and I thought that maybe, because at high doses it could begin to shut a persons nervous system down that it could possibly be just the experience I was looking for. This sounds kind of like a death wish I'm sure, but my idea was that if I could begin to disconnect from my earthly body and existence that I might become more in touch with the me that's not so caught up in the world around me, something like my spiritual self. That weekend I found myself and two friends, Th and Tr, sitting in Th's basement mildly under the influence of cough medication feeling quite a lot like reptiles. As my trip grew more and more intense I found it harder and harder to concentrate on the movie we had decided to watch: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I had never seen the movie but had been told that it was quite entertaining and we thought it'd be a good choice, if we're gonna be on drugs why not watch a movie about some guys who are on drugs too? The movie and the room around me became less and less interesting until they lost nearly all significance and I was just floating in a black abyss... the TV came back into view and it was at the part where Raoul is writing and narrating about the 60s the name Tim Leary echoed in my mind and I passed out. In the weeks after my experience I read everything I could about Leary's experiments with psilocybin and LSD and his philosophies and, my favorite, his autobiography, Flashbacks. I have felt since then that there was a reason for Tim Leary coming to me in the abyss, like I was supposed to learn all about him, like I am supposed to keep expanding my mind. My friends have also felt similar effects. We all noticed that we play a whole lot better music since the trip, it's like we're more tuned into each others emotions like we're operating on a closer frequency or something, it's hard to explain but hopefully someone will understand what I'm trying to say. It reminds me of the Unified Consciousness that I keep hearing about, like we tripped and we became psychically fused somehow. Before our experience we didn't know what direction to take with our band, we knew we wanted to be a rock band but we didn't know how to be a rock band. Now we know, and we all knew immediately the day after that we needed to continue the legacy of all the greats from the first era of rock before the sound was polluted by the industry and mass produced for capital.
I'm not sure how forum users will take this post, but I hope to get positive feedback.
One day a friend of mine told me that he felt much different than the day before, like a new person. I asked him what he took. He said cough medicine and I said no freaking way. I was curious of course so I looked it up on erowid. I found the active ingredient was DXM (Dextromethorphan) and learned about it's effect on the human conciousness. I found out that it was a type of Dissociative Anesthetic (or Analgesic.. I'm not sure what the difference is.. I'm not a doctor) and I thought that maybe, because at high doses it could begin to shut a persons nervous system down that it could possibly be just the experience I was looking for. This sounds kind of like a death wish I'm sure, but my idea was that if I could begin to disconnect from my earthly body and existence that I might become more in touch with the me that's not so caught up in the world around me, something like my spiritual self. That weekend I found myself and two friends, Th and Tr, sitting in Th's basement mildly under the influence of cough medication feeling quite a lot like reptiles. As my trip grew more and more intense I found it harder and harder to concentrate on the movie we had decided to watch: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I had never seen the movie but had been told that it was quite entertaining and we thought it'd be a good choice, if we're gonna be on drugs why not watch a movie about some guys who are on drugs too? The movie and the room around me became less and less interesting until they lost nearly all significance and I was just floating in a black abyss... the TV came back into view and it was at the part where Raoul is writing and narrating about the 60s the name Tim Leary echoed in my mind and I passed out. In the weeks after my experience I read everything I could about Leary's experiments with psilocybin and LSD and his philosophies and, my favorite, his autobiography, Flashbacks. I have felt since then that there was a reason for Tim Leary coming to me in the abyss, like I was supposed to learn all about him, like I am supposed to keep expanding my mind. My friends have also felt similar effects. We all noticed that we play a whole lot better music since the trip, it's like we're more tuned into each others emotions like we're operating on a closer frequency or something, it's hard to explain but hopefully someone will understand what I'm trying to say. It reminds me of the Unified Consciousness that I keep hearing about, like we tripped and we became psychically fused somehow. Before our experience we didn't know what direction to take with our band, we knew we wanted to be a rock band but we didn't know how to be a rock band. Now we know, and we all knew immediately the day after that we needed to continue the legacy of all the greats from the first era of rock before the sound was polluted by the industry and mass produced for capital.
I'm not sure how forum users will take this post, but I hope to get positive feedback.